it's okay to snoop
It is okay to snoop and ask questions.
From experience, when you are first dating is the best time to snoop and ask questions.
You can't just snoop without the questions, though, because you may easily mistake what you find.
A lot of people who date don't want to hear about the previous lover(s) but it is important to hear it. If the talk is all negative and they never take any responsibility for the relationship ending, then you can see the entire picture.
Granted, it's not what you want to hear the first day, but you should have a good 21 questions session.
Snooping and asking questions have always helped me.
From experience, when you are first dating is the best time to snoop and ask questions.
You can't just snoop without the questions, though, because you may easily mistake what you find.
A lot of people who date don't want to hear about the previous lover(s) but it is important to hear it. If the talk is all negative and they never take any responsibility for the relationship ending, then you can see the entire picture.
Granted, it's not what you want to hear the first day, but you should have a good 21 questions session.
Snooping and asking questions have always helped me.
One time I was dating a fellow who was of the Islamic faith and I started to realize he was telling his friends from the Temple Mosque one thing and doing another. This wasn't a big deal to me, however, I figured he might have other secrets.
One day, while he was at work, he asked me to go get him a different pair of dress shoes out of his closet. I had a key to his apartment, so I went over. I was alone there for the first time, so I snooped. His closet had bank statements and other papers showing how much money he was sending to family in Lebanon. It was a lot. It didn't bother me, but I did want to understand what the money was being used for.
However, the big thing I found was personal papers on a woman he had never mentioned before, but I remembered her from high school. The papers were things like college class schedules, grades, work papers, interviews, and performance reviews. I was concerned with the "why" he would have her papers. Sure enough, I was glad I snooped. No, it wasn't what caused us to split. That was later, after we took a trip together. You always learn the most about a partner when you travel.
The next guy I snooped on was a guy named Jimmie. He was in the Navy. He was too perfect, so I snooped because I knew no one could be that perfect haha.
One day, while he was at work, he asked me to go get him a different pair of dress shoes out of his closet. I had a key to his apartment, so I went over. I was alone there for the first time, so I snooped. His closet had bank statements and other papers showing how much money he was sending to family in Lebanon. It was a lot. It didn't bother me, but I did want to understand what the money was being used for.
However, the big thing I found was personal papers on a woman he had never mentioned before, but I remembered her from high school. The papers were things like college class schedules, grades, work papers, interviews, and performance reviews. I was concerned with the "why" he would have her papers. Sure enough, I was glad I snooped. No, it wasn't what caused us to split. That was later, after we took a trip together. You always learn the most about a partner when you travel.
The next guy I snooped on was a guy named Jimmie. He was in the Navy. He was too perfect, so I snooped because I knew no one could be that perfect haha.
He happened to have a box of 6 or 7 engagement rings. All alike and all of sudden, the one he gave me was not as rare or important! I also found three big, thick scrapbooks. I thought I was going to find family pictures in the books, but it turned out to be photographs taken at Florida beaches of women in bikinis. You could tell the women had no clue they were being photographed. There were tons of photos. He had tons of videos too. The videos, I didn't even bother to look at. We broke up after I confirmed with a few questions and the answers didn't "fit." There just happened to be a lot more things he hadn't shared with me. One was an estranged wife. The excuse was, "You didn't ask!"
Lots of folks will tell you that snooping means you don't trust and it is bad taste or bad behavior, but I give you permission 😋 It's okay to snoop ❤
Lots of folks will tell you that snooping means you don't trust and it is bad taste or bad behavior, but I give you permission 😋 It's okay to snoop ❤