complaining

One of my new year's resolutions is to, "Stop complaining."

In 2022, I've taken up study of philosophy. Not that philosophy is a religion, but some of it has turned a bit religious for me, as I spend a pretty good amount of time regularly devoted to it. 

I quit church a few years ago.  I admittedly spent too many hours a week in studies, music practice, board meetings, teaching kids, teaching adults, preparing for speeches, services, potlucks, buying and cooking, handing out items, working bazaars, crafting, etc etc. Even time in the church coffee shoppe and gift store. Too much money spent!  Time and money gone and not much to show for it. 

I have to clarify that I am NOT complaining, as I really loved some of those things. I did NOT waste all my time and feel I really did adore some of the positions! But, I also have to be honest, I miss complaining about church and the people who went to the church, and some time and money that went bye-bye. 

Much had become a huge pain the butt 😋 So, it's kinda a complaint.

One of the philosophical stoics were quoted with a saying something to the affect, "Never be caught complaining. Even to yourself."

I've somewhat honored this in 2022 and have made it a 2023 resolution. 

Only the first few days in to January and I am trying to determine for myself, "What is complaint and what is merely stating a fact?"

It has rained every day since the beginning of this new year. If I say that, it may sound to most folks like complaining, but it is the truth. I love rain, so I am certainly not complaining. But it 'sounds' like a complaint.

When I write, am I complaining or is at a form of therapy? Do I think anyone will see themselves or am I a bad example?

I recently read an article about complaining. It talked about 'fixing' the Debbie Downers In your life. Mainly it was a story about a mother 'working on' her daughter, as her daughter would complain literally the first 30 minutes of every conversation they had. She had a funny little bet going with her and it ended up that they got all the worse maladies discussed in the first 2 minutes, cutting down the negative talk! Way down!

Then, I read a more scientific article, saying how humans, even the near perfect ones, still complained an average of 15 times a day.

Then, why ffs did I chose this almost impossible resolution???

Is this a complaint?

Probably. 

According to the philosophers, I shouldn't be caught doing that and I deeply dislike doing it. 

I used to have a friend I called every day and we had our share of complaints we'd cover during our talks. They were all silly in the end. 

His brother was his roommate and he did all the cooking. He also did not have a mortgage or rent payment. My friend's biggest complaints were about his brother's cooking. I didn't like hearing about it, because here he was in his 40's getting three meals a day for free and he didn't like the food. 

His brother did not season the meals as he wished. So, get up, season your plate yourself. Get up and cook for yourself, or go to the local diner for a meal.

My biggest complaint then, and maybe now, as well, was my mother. He didn't like hearing it  as he felt my mom was very "spoiled." If I complained about the tile guy putting in the tile wrong at mom's house, it would lead to an hour of him talking about my mom didn't know how good she had it.

Here I am complaining my complaint back then brought his complaint. 😋

I had another friend who used to call me a sympathy vampire. He said I could suck all the sympathy out of someone. Of course, I think I did it with all my complaints. He would often play devil's advocate so I couldn't play the victim. Nice game, often stopped me in my tracks, but still pathetic on my part. I wanted sympathy so bad I had to beg for it.

I am not a weak person. I am strong, so I don't need to advertise all my problems.

I think the reason I complain so much lately is because of the pandemic. Even today, looking at the cost of things (a lot double the price!) and unavailable items at the grocery store, I complain and blame this issue on all the things covid 19 has caused. Mentally, it's led me to hoard stupid stuff: salt, mouthwash, toothpaste, powder, vitamins, and dog food. Things I have feared running out. 

That's another new year's resolution I have made. Use the stuff you've bought so much of the last couple years. I was never a TP hoarder, but if you need some salt??? I may have a box or two, but no, I don't think it was me that caused cheap-arse salt to double in price 😋

Overall, the greatest reason I complain is for the need to be seen. I want people to acknowledge I have been hurt and I have suffered. I keep waiting for that knight (or princess) to ride in on the pretty horse and fix everything or give me all the answers or words of encouragement that I need.

It's a pitiful and pathetic trait to have and I truly want to stop it. There's too much negativity in this world to put more of my complaints out there in it. 

So, a way to stop complaining is to just do it and stop analyzing what complaining is and what it may not be. Better to just stop.

Full stop. 

So, I love the rain and it's going to be raining again tomorrow. If I say, "I stepped in a puddle and my sock got wet," I may be pushing it a bit too far 😋